Alright các em, today will be our last session of the year so... hello one last time from me. :)
First of all, your grades are now updated (as of 2am last night) and will be recorded tomorrow so if you still have missing work, today is the last day to make up.
We have now gone through 8 chapters in total which is the first stage out of the 3 stages within the book. The second stage is all about liturgy (mass) and sacraments which I will mention briefly here in a bit and the third stage will be your study subjects for next year. No you won't have to see me again. :)
So if you recall, we just learned about the Church which by now you should have a basic definition of Jesus being the head and we are the body. Within that sense, liturgy and sacraments are just different ways that both parts can be connected. It's more about our own benefits than what there is for God because through liturgy or mass and the sacraments, we get to receive God's grace and guarantee a seat on his right.
Now you've been going to mass lately (I hope) so you may already have an idea what it is about (food for our souls) but what are the sacraments? There are 7 of them and they, as stated above, are purely signs of God's grace or ways to help us stay strong and faithful on our journey. The list begins with Baptism and Eucharist. Sounds familiar? Good! Because the next one is, as you guessed it, Confirmation, in which you can think of it as your personal Pentecost. :)
Then there is Reconciliation which is another name for Confession, Anointing of the Sick (when we're about to leave this beautiful world), Marriage (when you found your other half), and Holy Orders (when your other half is, Jesus). Out of these 7 sacraments, I am gonna assume that Marriage is the sacrament that most of us will be receiving so here is my lengthy note regarding the preparation for this... future big day of yours. :)
It's worth noting that marriage has to come from love and there are many relationships of love in our life such as the love of our parents for us, from us to our brothers and sisters, the love for the community, the country, or our love as "teachers" for our younger generations. However, among these relationships of love, marriage is the only love that God has raised to the level of sacrament (which is anything specially blessed by God).
It has this honor because it mirrors the kind of love that God has given us, from creation to Jesus on the cross. What do I mean by that? It means since the beginning, we were created from love, then we sinned, and we're saved to be loved again. Well, I still don't get it. How does a marriage mirror this?
It's similar in a way that in a true marriage, the husband and wife have the privilege to give birth to new lives just like how God created us (from love), and then when we forgive our love partner or spouse's sins or mistakes, we're acting like true Christian or children of God and that act comes from nowhere but love (or God).
The next question is, what is a true love or, a true marriage? Well, first of all it has to be the love and consent between a man and a woman, and notice how it says between a man and a woman and not between a boy and a girl. This requires a certain degree of maturity between our partner and ourselves before we decide to take our relationships to the next level of love which is, marriage.
We're usually drawn to another person of opposite sex at 4 human levels: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. The challenge is to keep these 4 levels of attraction in harmony and balance. The most common danger is that the physical attraction is often allowed by us to overwhelm all other considerations and we end up with an unbalanced and weak relationship when it (the physical beauty) is no longer there (and everything fades except the word of God - Isaiah 40).
So that's a marriage between 2 people of opposite sex, what about the people who consider themselves gay or lesbian or LGBTQ+? They are unfortunately not accepted (or agreed) to begin with so if there is a marriage that involves one or the other, it is not "valid" under the Church's teachings. We as the people of God however, are asked and instructed to respect and love them no matter what so if you don't know what to do if you know someone or if you have a friend like that, just be kind and respectful.
What if I am "the one", thầy Trung? Well, your best bet is to talk to one of our priests for spiritual guidance and do pray (a lot). My personal advice is to stick with the community because we all need it to grow and mature and we're stronger together so... don't abandon us. That being said, I'm also available for chat or listening so hit me anytime if you feel bored. :)
Back to the sacrament of marriage, when it comes to love, we just simply can't (or shouldn't) keep score, which is comparing what our spouse has given in as their "share", or what we ourselves have gained or lost from the relationship. The day a husband and wife begin to do so is the day the marriage begins to die. It's also very important that we discuss with our life partner (with lots of prayers) and thinking as one before we enter marriage since it is no regular contract but a holy covenant and for this reason, is expected to last forever.
Now even when we had a what called balanced relationship and after we said "I do" in our (current imaginary) wedding, we still bounce to discover our partner's faults and all kinds of things that we haven't seen before when we were still young "love birds". At this point in a marriage, the "adoring spouse" now becomes a... "nagging adversary" and we call this the conflict stage of a marriage.
This is by far the most unwanted and destructive stage in a marriage so the challenge here is to steer the conflict into a constructive direction. The danger in this stage is to avoid conflict and if it's suppressed, communication breaks down and resentment builds. To resolve, both partners have to communicate and deal constructively with each conflict so that they may rediscover love and mature in their covenant. Remember, communication is always the key.
Now, who can still remember the main difference between a contract and a covenant? A contract protects the benefit of all involved parties. It is a conditional agreement. It lists out what is expected of each party. A covenant does not. A covenant is an unconditional, mutual pledge to love and serve the other forever: in good times and in bad times, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.
So, marriage is clearly not a one-time celebration but an on-going event "till death do us part". This is why the Church only allows a person to remarry if their spouse has passed away. If a divorced person remarries, they must have an annulment for their first marriage and that is, a judgment that no marriage ever existed. This could be due to an important defect such as lack of maturity or lack of freedom to marry, etc. If a person remarries when they are not free to do so, such a person is encouraged to continue to worship with the Catholic community and be active in the parish, but he or she is not free to receive Holy Communion.
So the Church allows divorce or not? The short answer is no. A divorce is a permanent separation between two married people and this goes against the core of a covenant and God's law. Although, there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible such as the physical danger of a member in the family (violence), the Church permits a temporary separation of the two.
Okay, what about marrying a person of different belief or religion? The Church does allow this to happen; nevertheless, we should take our faith very seriously and acknowledge the difficulties and challenges in an interfaith marriage like this. Having said that, with the Church's approval, an interfaith marriage may be performed by a priest, a deacon, a rabbi, or a minister. It may also take place either in a Catholic church or the church to which the other party belongs. If the other person is non-Christian, we may even ask for permission for the wedding to be held in a place other than a synagogue or a church.
Last related issue that I'd like to bring up for thoughts is abortion. In the light of faith, we cannot tolerate or accept this as normal and must act accordingly (for example, in our votes) to help stop it from happening. I hope none of you have to go through this because I can't imagine what a nightmare it will be, let alone it's one of God's ten commandments. That said, to protect ourselves from having to make that decision (which we have no authority by the way), let's be proactive and try our best not to "live as husband and wife" before a marriage in which case this is also a thing that the Church forbids. Should we have tried and still failed, then let's turn to God for forgiveness and seek the Church for help and guidance.
In situations where we're forced to do so, the Church teaches that there is no good cause that can justify an evil act (abortion) but also promotes that we as victims deserve immediate medical, emotional and spiritual care. This also applies to cases where killing the baby is the only way to save the mother, abortion is still not allowed and likewise, a woman may not be killed in order to save the life of her child.
I know Mother's Day has just passed but I do feel sorry for every girl and woman because of all the difficulties that they have to bear so boys, let's never take our moms for granted and later on if you decide to get married, just don't ever stop being a gentleman to your wife and a loving father to your kids, will you? :)
And as for you girls, it's been said that when a woman gives birth to a child, that is when she is living with her heart being outside her body (Elizabeth Stone). My point? We do thank you and appreciate your sacrifices so remember to take good care of yourself, to take good care of others. :)
Speaking of kids, being both husband and wife in a marriage means we must accept children as a gift from God and we shouldn't see it as a burden but as a privilege. We must also thank God and our parents for our own life and now the ability to give life. I'd also like to share some pictures of my old house in Việt Nam where is now an orphanage. Here many children were saved from abortion and raised from the help of people like us so if you're feeling like adoption is a better call in your life, don't hesitate to reach out. :)
Okay, I know it's long and your eyes are sored now so let me sum this up. When we're fortunate enough to meet our other half, things we should do are to be grateful and thank God, "keep in touch" with him (God) often (especially once you're in love and tend to forget everything else), get married under God's presence after you both are clear about what to expect, invite God into the family to love and forgive each other always as God does, bear children if that's God's will, and last but not least, foster a climate of love in which any new life can grow and mature under God's providence in your house.
I will conclude today's message about love and marriage with this beautiful passage below:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13)
Now for those who aren't currently seeing themselves in a marriage, here are my other 2 cents. Growing up, every one of us will encounter God's call in different way and in special way. We all have a different role in carrying out God's plan and it may be too soon to tell or realize what the vocation might be. My recommendation? Be prayerful and listening. Let the kindness and image of God flow in you and in everything you do and may God then will show you the way, his way. :)
And that will be it các em. There is no quiz for this last class session so enjoy your time off and have a great summer time. I'd also like to give a big shout-out to those who have been actively and patiently checking and participating in our online class and staying with me God until the end. That said, everyone will pass the class but your grade report which the school is sending out will still reflect your efforts correctly.
One last friendly reminder before we go, please keep on praying and always striving to be your best in how we live our lives as we may be the only Bible that some person ever reads (W. J. Tommy). My final message to you (and me) is don't stop going to church for whatever reason, pray often, and never forget to give and love; for that is how our life will be judged, or fulfilled.